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You have the power!!
I am happy to write this and find out how much I`ve changed since the last time.
So many things I have in my mind!
So much love I have to express and to show people what`s possible.
A month ago, I found myself falling through a cliff.
As absurd as that sound. I was lost and I hated myself for that.
I was tired of the same bullshit! the same propaganda in my head 24 hrs.
I was tired of living and breathing.
Then, I asked myself: Why?
And then I finally realized I was running in circles.
Running and running with no end, always coming back to where I started.
I don`t want that anymore! I`m tired of hidding and escaping from myself!
I am tired of not being able to feel and always thinking on the past and the `what if..`
Aren`t you tired of hating yourself?
Aren`t you tired of hurting yourself?
Aren`t you tired of being afraid all the time and running in circles?
Aren`t you tired of hidding?
Aren`t you tired of being sick all the time?
Aren`t you tired of not knowing yourself?
Aren`t you tired of being sensitive, weak and negative?
Aren`t you tired of not being loved?
Aren`t you tired of judging other people?
Aren`t you tired of waking up every morning and wishing you were dead?
Then why you keep doing it?
Is it pleasure, or maybe love?
What is it?
I am tired!
I just can`t live my life hating my dad for my own decisions. Pointing out with every finger to all the people that hurt me!
I am tired of blaming myself to the extend that I was wishing my own death!
Don`t I deserve to be loved? Don`t I deserve to be who I am no matter what people may think?
Don`t I deserve to love the force that It`s inside me?
Yes! I deserve to be alive! I deserve to be me and being loved because I am me! Because I am the energy that makes this world.
So simple as that! don`t you think?
My friend got very offensive and reacted against me, saying:
"You were the one who told me to live with the mind, not the heart"
I know, I did and that time I thought it was the right path.
However, I found myself suffering behind close doors.
I know what is like to be in the other side of the road.
As I said, the only thing that scares me the most is to go back again to that path.
Then, one day I found myself. It was approx 3 weeks ago.
I chose to believe!
Then everything started to change! Everything was clear, as if I saw the sky without a cloud. Everything made sense to me.
I found the beauty that made me and I saw the light.
Something out of my soul started to shine constatly without fear.
I always made decisions without putting my heart and soul to it, instead I used only my thoughts for guidance.
I was lost and without any hope to keep going, then everything went wrong and at the end I became a inrresponsable girl who couldn`t stand for her own decisions. I was fighting against myself constantly and nothing seem to be right.
The aswer is this: We have the power to choose if we want to believe in ourselves or not. That is a choice you have to make on your own.
Because you know the `other` path; the one with illness, depression, constant lack of satisfaction, unlimited unhappiness
Then you may want to take the other path; the one that leads you to your own self!
Isn`t that beautiful? Isn`t that what we are living for?
Look, I am not trying to tell you to use your emotions as a tool to guide yourself!
I `m telling you to stop for a minute and listen what your heart has to say.
Just listen your own heart. Feel it!
You may want to close your eyes and feel the energy that`s comming within you!
Trust is what matters. Trust of your own self.
Trust the heart that is guiding you so we can make better decisions.
Trusting our own self is the path through our own success.
I am not telling you this to decieve you.
I am telling you because I experienced what I may call the `real LOVE`.
The love to yourself and to others, the happiness that you were looking for.
You think things are impossible? Think one more time!
What do you want for yourself? what do you see yourself with?
What do you need?
You don`t know? then, stop and listen what yourself has to say.
Don`t shut up the truth!
I know people tell you constantly: `be positive, believe in yourself, blahblah` and you say: `Oh yeah? that`s simple, I can do that`
and after one minute or two you are blamming yourself for not being enough! saying things like: `Why I can`t do it? I believed!!!`
Once again, the answer is simple: `You though you believe in yourself by using your head and not your heart`
You have to say: ` I BELIEVE` and feel it with all your heart and soul.
Many people may read this and think: `what the hell she thinks she is?
She thinks she is perfect? She thinks she`s God?`
I may answer again: ` I know the other path, the one that you hate yourself and you hurt yourself until the point you don`t want to live.
I know the feeling of living inside a roller coaster with all your emotions going up and down constantly.
However, I made a choice to believe and what I found was constant happiness and a force of pure LOVE for myself and others.
Things are comming just the way I wanted to be and I have a more clear vision of what I want.
Passion came to me and I found myself running outside the circle and going somewhere.
I created my own path! My own destiny!!
I found passion, self steem, love, inspiration and energy to live again.
In other words, I felt as I was born again"
I may conclude with a phrase:
"YOU HAVE THE POWER TO CHANGE YOUR OWN DESTINY!" think about it!
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